Trust in yourself

Have you ever felt like you tried really hard to get something right, but nothing seems to be falling into place no matter what you do? Does it ever make you feel as though you are in this constant state when you think you should just quit because you’re wasting your time trying so hard?

Just recently this school term, I had been given another chance to be an Assistant Supervisor at my day job. I thought I was going to be demoted from the position entirely from my lack of assertiveness (which I talked about in a previous post here) until recently, I had received an email from my boss saying that I am taking on that position once a week. I was stoked to find out that they had entrusted me this opportunity to try again, regardless of my recent efforts.

But I realized that even though I have been able to give it another go, the anxiety of taking on that lead role always creeps up on me. And the idea of talking to people much bolder or more in authority than I intimidates me.

I can’t help but look at some of the other employees that I usually work with in my Technology Aide position, and wonder why I was given this opportunity in the first place. There are some Technology Aides I know here who seem more able and willing to take on this position with shining colors. Yet here I am, taking on this job in their place, filling the entire office space with nervousness and stress. Or so it seems in my eyes anyways.

I always jump and feel antsy when the phone rings or when someone approaches me with a question that I fear I won’t be able to answer with confidence. There have been instances where I felt like I could have handled a situation much better than the way I performed where my anxieties got the better of me. There was one time when an employee of mine came into work late, and I only felt comfortable sending them a email stating the importance of getting to work on time rather than having the confidence of approaching them one-on-one. I find myself typing that email over and over again, so it doesn’t make me sound aggressive.

It drains me feeling this way when I am in a situation where I have to prove my capabilities. It has made me come to realize that what I do best is beat up my sense of well being over these matters. I’m hard on myself all the time, and maybe even a little too much.

There are a few things I have learned from this lovely stress of mine:

It’s important to learn to trust yourself. Sometimes trying just isn’t enough, but self-trust can enhance your efforts if you really just try to change your way of thinking. Since when has thinking negative gotten you anywhere? Clearly it’s making you perform worse because you are thinking so lowly of yourself. The belief that you are, indeed, a good asset towards people’s lives is hard to believe, but can be true for anybody if you really try to imagine yourself doing well. If you trust yourself long enough, you just might find that people may trust you more than you actually think by focusing your mind on getting the tasks done effectively.

Take it easy, and don’t let others determine what you can and can’t do. So you may have all these responsibilities you have to take on that you haven’t quite adapted to in your life yet. Give yourself a pat on the back knowing that you did your best, even when things go wrong. Consider the fact that tomorrows a new day, and find something to look forward to in the long run by staying positive.

Can you find it within you to trust yourself today?